Playing to strengths

 We all have strengths. Even as a disabled woman, I have ability. Sometimes you have to go through difficult times to discover how strong you are: I did. When I struggled to survive high school, for instance, I found out I was capable and smart. 

I find now that I am slacking off and not living to my potential. I have to reverse this trend before I go too far into complacency. I want to start checking off my bucket list now. 

I’m middle aged now, putting on weight and getting more unhealthy. I have cancer now. I believe I can stop it with good habits, like exercise and a moderate diet.  All it takes is one step followed by many others. To take that step is a choice- to choose life over a slow death.

Some of my recent choices have led me close to my goal of writing my book about friendship. I have finished the third rewrite which I will edit and add notes. Not all sedentary behavior is wasted time.

Great expectations in friendship

 Chapter 4 Great Expectations 

 

Everyone wants someone who cares about them but can they actually care for someone other than themselves? They have an expectation of grace

And kindness, and perhaps a favor and advantage.

 

Not everyone actually cares. They may have a deceitful reason for befriending someone. They expect capitulation not companionship.

A compassionate heart can sense a person’s need and 

Meet it by reaching out in friendship. There’s no other motivation than to be supportive. 

 

A callous person might see weakness and exploit it, using a relationship as a means to an end. This is tragic emotional abuse that cuts both ways. It dehumanizes and demoralizes people. 

 

Then there are people who are so desperate for love and attention that they will “buy” friends. Since this kind of relationship is merely transactional, it has no meaning.

I’d like to share what makes friendship real and emotionally beneficial:

A friend ought to be somewhat of a good influence in our lives and offer some benefit we otherwise would not have. They should be indispensable, and you should be indispensable to them. Their presence in our lives ought to hold real meaning. 

 

Second, a friend must be honest and trustworthy. A friendship built on lies falls apart eventually.

You should be yourself without pretense. Be straight forward without fear of rejection, because 

If someone doesn’t accept you for who you are, you’re better off knowing that as soon as possible.

 

Third, a friend is consistent with their attitude toward you. You know where they stand. Someone who turns on you is not a friend. A friend is loyal. A true friend sees and believes in the best of you. If something can come between two friends, it can be resolved. This would be possible because those

Parties have respect for one another.

 

They say you can pick your friends, but not your family. Sometimes people come into our lives and we interact with them out of convenience and proximity. We need to be intentional in our relationships. Are they healthy? Are you just going along to get along, or do you share something meaningful with your circle of acquaintances?

 

Some people have difficulty getting along with people, but I believe that even these people can have a few people to which they can confide. Maybe they have such a guard up to protect themselves, but they have a way of knowing who to trust. That’s just being smart, not being stuck- up. 

 

 Friends should inspire us. Do you look up to your friend, or are you trying to pull someone 

Up? It could be a little of both, but a close friend should lift you up. 

 

The writers of the Proverbs encourage their readers to seek wise friends for best results.  They help us avoid the pitfalls of life and can guide us with good advice.

 

A friend should be going the same direction with similar goals; anything that keeps you together. Like King Solomon said, How can you walk together unless you agree?

 

 

 

 

Recovery

After taking heart medication for months, I am starting to feel normal. Slowly I am getting into a workout routine involving strength training and walking. It feels great to have my strength coming back.

I set a goal to eat more fruits and vegetables and less restaurant delivery food. I haven’t been able to cut down caffeine, but I have more energy these days.

I am less tired and can do more each day. It’s like I have a new lease on life.

Asking for directions

Well, I just hired career help.  It gives me hope, and isn’t too overwhelming to start fixing my
Resume and cover letter. I’m still keeping everything in perspective as I continue the search for
A career.  I know I can’t do anything I want, only what I am capable of doing with disabilities.

I can reach for it, make a goal, and persevere, but if it isn’t a good fit, a career won’t work. All the pieces
Need to fit. I can’t force it. I can’t manipulate it. All I can do is assess my skills and limitations honestly.
Then I can make a tentative plan.

It’s like a treasure hunt. There is a reward for my efforts. I just want to make educated choices
And make the right moves so I won’t get lost.

I’ve got to pray like I never have before, a prayer to God for a compass and GPS for my life.

Start living

I want to start living again

The best news I’ve had all day: my life matters. I don’t want to waste my biggest asset: a lifetime.

I have a renewed interest in living. I was feeling pretty bad for a couple of months. It was like I had fallen in a deep hole. Now I am out and getting my bearings. Still a little shaky, but I’m on my feet again raring to go.

I’ve gotten back into my internet marketing with some new goals. I want to write an e- book and promote it, along with this blog. And I want to try some more affiliate marketing as well, perhaps with Fivver. 

Depression and motivation

Whenever I go through periods of depression and sleepless nights, I seem to learn more about my life and how to make things better. I get more organized and thoughtful. I come to peace with more of my past.

At first I was fighting an uphill battle with the negative thoughts and painful memories that were assaulting my psyche. It was tiring and robbing me of sleep and focus. I was consumed with bad memories and horrible regret. 

Once I was able to confront those thoughts with positive and balanced thinking(and it took a lot of thinking),

I began to experience inner comfort from my private musings.

I am now grateful for the life I’ve lived so far. The pieces of the puzzle are finally coming into place. My life makes more sense now.

Able

Though I am disabled, I have struggled to find my strengths and how I am able to offer

My community something worthwhile. I may not be as quick and sharp as other

Perspective employees, but I am intelligent and witty. As my confidence grows as a result 

Of subsequent success, I see my contribution increase.

Learning new skill sets is a hurdle I have found more challenging than I care to

Admit, but I could probably overcome it with the same determination I’ve shown in my own mental health recovery. That has been very difficult; in fact, it would have been harder without 

The support of family and friends. My husband has been an angel to me.

Charitable goals

Charitable and relatable goals

The emotional benefits of giving are underrated. I’ve recently been writing in my new

Planner some ways I want to give this year, hoping to not only feel connected to

My fellow human beings, but to let go and not be a Scrooge. It doesn’t have to be

Christmas, it can be every day.

We all get appeals to give when we are reading our emails or scanning social

Media. We see it on TV. We may hear it in church, or see it in our snail mail- at

Least I do. Some actually hit home a little. I just realized it doesn’t hurt and might

Bless me to pitch in what I can, responsibly 

Winter Energy

Winter energy

I’ve been setting goals and writing to do lists since Christmas.  It’s been a real shot in

The arm, like a burst of energy. I know what I want to do and how I am going to do

It. This is my solution to procrastination.

I’ve made some tangible progress decluttering some of the unused rooms in my

House. 1 box of thrift store donations of 2 and one bag of clothing have been taken

Out. Trash has been picked up. Recycling has also been removed. Space has been

Found in 2 different rooms. Slowly I am finding a home for items I’d just shuffled way back

In the attic and other rooms.

I’ve been using a planner I found online that really helps me to keep my life on track. It’s called the Christian Planner. The money I spent for it was worth it. I’ve got all my goals and aspirations in

One place. At glance I can see the roadmap of 2020. 

Christmas 2019

This past Christmas was special because my mom has moved in and it was really a treat to celebrate the season as a family. It was fun to stuff our stockings with little gifts. We even had guest to share a meal, which my mom helped cook.
My favorite part of the day was handing Christmas cards to my husband and my mother, although they didn’t have cards for me. They were surprised, especially my husband who hasn’t bought me greeting card in years. It was cool to see the joy my cards gave them.
I’m glad to say I saved when buying presents for my family, which I found online. I redeemed Amazon gift cards and spent my Paypal balance on some nice finds.  I use Bing Rewards, Swagbucks, and the fitness app Achievement to earn money online.  I highly recommend using these legitimate and dependable income streams.